Pupils and Pepinos (Cucumbers)

I wish that you all could feel the vibe I have going right now. It’s Sunday “morning” (1pm) and I’m listening to the Eagles on a full stomach of banana pancakes and fired potatoes. And I made cinnamon apples – just to throw that in there. After the day I had yesterday, a day such as today is welcome.

Friday afternoon Chris and I went to Usulutan. He had invited me earlier in the week to go with him to the HIV/AIDS conference there with him. It took three buses and a ride in the back of a pick up truck – weaving in and out of cows – to get there. Presidio Liberal, the name of the rural village where we stayed, was about a three hour journey that placed us among sugar cane, cows, bare feet, and refugees from the war. I believe most of them are squatters on the land they “have”, and many are retired combantants from the guerilla side. So that’s a background….

When we arrived Friday, they were all just finishing their section on STDs for the day, and we were invited to have some food and play fútbol (soccer….) with them. Knowing how much I play soccer, you can bet I was an all-star. Yeah, I’ve never played in my entire life. And I was wearing flip-flops of course. So for the rest of the day after everyone left, Nery and Tobias (the leaders) and Chris and I did a couple of home visits to Presentación and then to Marina. Marina lives in a one room house with her mom. Her husband was killed and her property stolen by another woman. We rested in the two hammocks that swung from the ceiling and Chris and I tried very hard to listen to her mumbling Spanish while being distracted by the ridiculous Salvadoran TV.

A PSA popped up saying “Don’t litter, it makes the tourists not come”. Talk about blunt, among other things…

Anyway, this is dragging out so I’ll get to the conference. By the way, the whole thing was at the village preschool, where the four of us slept Friday night. It started Saturday at 7:30. They began with a review of the STDs they had learned the day before using “hangman” as a refresher for the names of them. Then we started talking about HIV/AIDS (VIH/SIDA in español). We talked about the difference between the two, the progression of the disease, how it works, testing, treatment, and prevention. We played games to keep our energy up and acted out different scenes according to the topic we were discussing. We were read scenarios and broke up into small groups to discuss. Needless to say that I got some great ideas on how to teach me classes in Jayaque starting tomorrow.

One of the people/subjects that amazed me was Marina and her reaction to condom usage, abstinence, and fidelity - all topics that we discussed for the prevention topic.

On the topic of abstinence…

The question was posed, “Who has it easier in the choice of abstaining from sex?” The response was “Men, because they have the ability to choose to have sex or not.” My immediate reaction – and women don’t? I guess not, according to Marina. It broke out into a conversation that men have sexual urges, like wild beasts, that they are not able to contain and women need to respond to this, they don’t have the choice.

On the topic of fidelity…

We were given a scenario where a man has multiple lovers, leaving his wife at home all the while to take care of their children. He gets sick and finds out he is HIV positive, and so are his wife and three children. One of the questions for our small group was, “Why did Antonio act in this manner?” The response by Oswaldo - a brilliant 24 year old who knew all the answers to questions on AIDS: “He was innocent. He didn’t know any better. He is a product of his society and he didn’t know he was getting his children sick.”

This is the machismo of El Salvador and so many countries of Latin America and Spain. It is extremely common and popular for a man to have multiple lovers, work hard, drink hard, and beat his wife. This is the society here. Many men “don’t know any better.” It has been so hard for me to feel comfortable with this, or even know how to act. I am looked at like an object here. Men raise their eyebrows, whistle, cat call, everything. I know that I am now an object. I know that I am a strong woman who has her own dreams and thoughts, but so many women here don’t know that. There is no outlet here for them, no way of knowing their importance in society. They keep their families together, they organize their communities. Many molested women run to the convent for a safe haven, to become a nun. But they are so psychologically destroyed that they can’t fufill their duties as a sister.

On our way back, after having a heart-wrenching conversation on the bus with Nery about machismo and walking through the disgusting gazes of the men in the Centro of San Salvador, I was about to lose it. But then Chris and I met Wilfredo – just a man waiting for the same bus on his way to a 7pm-7am shift as a mechanic. We asked the typical questions we do to most Salvadorans – tell us about your job and family. He said that he has 3 daughters and a wife. He had pictures of them in his wallet which we got to see. I asked if his wife stayed at home or worked. To which he responded “She is the queen of the house.” A breakthrough. I asked if she had a crown. He commented, “Yes, I put it there.” Thank you, Wilfredo. He’s on his way to Canada in 3 months, as soon as he hears from his informant. He’ll work for a syrup factory for a year, then he gets to bring his family up. “Felicidades,” I said (congratulations). He thanked us, and said that it was truly a gift from God. “If we had a more balanced and equal economy in place, a more just system, no Salvadoran would have to leave.” How true.

The president here also is the head of the association of private enterprise here, and the businesses don’t have to pay taxes. The cycle is so complex and vicious that its not comprehendible.

So there’s the weekend. The picture I included is Dora, 16, with her protected cucumber... notice the balloon in the back. Quite an experience, and now these 14 salvadorans will be able (after the next 3 weekend sessions) to be able to go into their communities and spread the word on HIV/AIDS and STDs, a taboo turned truth.

A few facts:

• Global funding for HIV/AIDS in El Salvador has been cut. All 26 million of it. Why? Because the government declares this country as middle class and refuses to admit that there is poverty here. Smart, eh?
• The number of REGISTERED cases of AIDS in El Salvador as of 2005 was 15,609. The estimation for 2010? 81,904. Think about the unregistered cases…